SHORT AND MEDIUM LENGTH PLAYS

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Play

Title

Author

Script Price

Price per Perf

Length

Twosome

1A/02/001 TWO OR THREE GHOSTS

Michael Law

£2

£12

45 mins

Twosome

1A/02/002 WALL TO WALL 

Charles Ford 

£2.50

£18

50 mins

Twosome

1A/02/003 EMPTY AND READY 

David Elliot Brown 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

Twosome

1A/02/004 SALLY FACES UP 

David Elliot Brown 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

Threesome

1A/03/001 THE LONGEST DAY

Don West 

£1.50

£8

20 mins

Threesome

1A/03/002 POLES APART

Derek Parkes 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

Threesome

1A/03/003 THE PARK BENCH 

Chris Vervain 

£2.50

£18

50 mins

Threesome

1A/03/004 OUT OF THE PURPLE DOOR 

Peter McKelvey 

£1.75

£10

25 mins

Threesome

1A/03/006 WHAT EVERYBODY NEEDS IS .. 

Chris Vervain 

£2.50

£18

50 mins

Threesome

1A/03/007 MOTHERS HAVE NINE LIVES

Joanna Norland 

£2

£12

45 mins

Threesome

1A/03/008 THE FAN

Jan Harris 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

Threesome

1A/03/009 JUST ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS

David Elliot Brown 

£2.00

£12

45 mins

Foursome

1A/04/001 SOMETHING NASTY IN THE WOODSHED 

Bruce McLaren

£2

£12

45 mins

Foursome

1A/04/002 GAME, SET AND MATCH 

Peter McKelvey 

£1.50

£8

20 mins

Foursome

1A/04/003 IN A SMALL HOTEL 

Peter McKelvey 

£1.75

£10

25 mins

Foursome

1A/04/004 GLIMPSED IN PASSING 

Peter McKelvey 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

Foursome

1A/04/005 DIFFERENT WORLDS 

Derek Parkes 

£2

£12

40 mins

Foursome

1A/04/006 FAT FRED 

Charles Ford 

£2

£12

45 mins

Foursome

1A/04/007 A PEBBLE'S RATTLE 

Jane Beeson 

£3

£24

70 mins

Foursome

1A/04/008 THE BOW-LOX FILE 

Charles Ford 

£2

£12

40 mins

5 Characters

1A/05/001 THREE TRYING GRAND-DAUGHTERS 

Bruce McLaren

£2.50

£18

60 mins

5 Characters

1A/05/002 WITNESS FOR THE DEFENCE 

Don West 

£2.50

£18

50 mins

5 Characters

1A/05/003 THE STING IN THE TAIL 

Bruce McLaren 

£2.50

£18

60 mins

6 Characters

1A/06/001 INSIDE STORY 

Derek Parkes 

£1.75

£10

30 mins

6 Characters

1A/06/003 SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME

J.Grange, P.Vincent 

£2.50

£18

50 mins

6 Characters

1A/06/004 BURLESQUE

Jan Harris 

£2

£12

40 mins

6 Characters

1A/06/005 GAIETY GIRLS

Katy Darby 

£2.50

£18

60 mins

6 Characters

1A/06/006 THORN'S HAMMER

David Elliot Brown 

£3.00

£24

70 mins


Short and Medium Length Plays Descriptions

Twosomes

1A/02/001 TWO OR THREE GHOSTS by Michael Law Scripts £2 perf £12 for one man and one woman (45 minutes)

This thought provoking play examines the complex nature of relationships, loss of youth and memories of the past. Jack appears to enjoy his quiet, uneventful life while Rosie is apparently bored to tears with hers. But why is he so apparently placid and why is Rosie so lethargic? She appears to be looking forward to the return of her long lost lover. And her husband participates, even encourages her anticipation. But who was this lover? A delightful play for two 'middle-aged' actors. Characters, both about 40: Rosie, demanding, full of herself; Jack, non-descript, servile.

1A/02/002 WALL TO WALL by Charles Ford Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for one man and one woman (50 minutes)

Beatrice is a determined old lady whose mind is failing but who resents the intrusion of the Social Services Department. The Assistant head of the local office is paying her a visit because all the lesser staff have been turned away with abuse. At one level the play is a sparring match between her determined will to remain independent and the Social Services with their seemingly hollow promises. She has neither family nor friends and is no longer capable of looking after herself. Characters: Beatrice, 82, obstinate and fiery; Mr Dartington-Kew, 50's, bureaucratic.

1A/02/003 EMPTY AND READY by David Elliot brown £1.75 perf £10 for two men (30 minutes)

The play is about two drunken vagrants out one night in the suburbs of Edinburgh. They are hungry and thirsty and looking for trouble. Their language is obscene and crude and they are putting on a brave show. But when they find a body they turn out to be not so courageous. Warning: the crude language may offend. Characters: Tom, known as Tam, and his friend Tim are both about 30. Tom is a big bully, foulmouthed and boastful. Tim is his little companion, who needs his protection but is seriously exploited until he manages to turn the tables. .

1A/02/004 SALLY FACES UP by David Elliot Brown Scripts £1.75 perf £12 for one man and one woman (30 minutes)

The play is about Sally, who is out at night, seemingly lost. She comes across an old man who appears to know all about her and can speak with the voices of those closest to her. She abuses him but, through his intervention, she faces up to some awful truths about her situation and makes the right decision. Warning: The crudity of Sally's language may offend. Characters: Sally is a woman of about 30, alcohol dependent, violent and abusive who has a tender side, particularly regarding her young daughter.The secret which she has to face up to concerns her cruel and violent man and her revenge. Eddy is very old and apparently a derelict street-dweller. But he is an angel in disguise. He can speak with the voices of Sally's family and her man and goes into fits when these characters take over. Once he has persuaded her to face up to what she has done he disappears..


Threesomes

1A/03/001 THE LONGEST DAY by Don West Scripts £1.50 perf £8 for two women and one man (20 minutes)

Two old people meet in a hotel. She is a resident, he is 'passing through'. They should make contact but on the face of it he seems incapable of being the person she needs. Ruth denies her old age, the Brigadier denies his loneliness. The 'longest day' is the anniversary of her greatest loss. The discerning audience will find this play both moving and revealing and it provides a mature actress with an intriguing challenge in the part of Ruth. Characters: Jenny, 20-30, cheerful and courteous; Ruth, 60-70, strong; The Brigadier, late 70's, apparently casual.

1A/03/002 POLES APART by Derek Parkes Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for three women (30 minutes)

At the insistence of Sandra, her teenage daughter, Norma has taken her to the funeral of her Grandfather in a bleak northern town. But Norma has not been back to her home town in nearly twenty years and her strained relationship with her mother becomes increasingly evident to Sandra. When Norma finally explodes and walks out in a huff, the youngster gradually softens the old lady and helps to heal the rift between them. Characters: Amy, 68, northern, embittered; Norma, 38, social-climber; Sandra, 17, public school, confident.

1A/03/003 THE PARK BENCH by Chris Vervain Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for two women and one man (playing three parts) (50 minutes)

Two women are sitting on a park bench. The plot is internal and the two women may be opposing parts of one and the same psyche, or perhaps not. In either case the intruding males are deemed in the end to be redundant. The author clearly delights in language. When the play rambles occasionally, it does so within defined limits, allowing touches of delicious humour. This play is both refreshing and rewarding for it resonates with possibilities. Characters: Minder and Laura, both women , late 30's; Man who plays gardener, managing director and husband.

1A/03/004 OUT OF THE PURPLE DOOR by Peter McKelvey Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for one man and two women (25 minutes)

Tracy, dressed in stylish 'thirties' clothes is nervously putting the finishing touches to her face while being assured she has nothing to worry about by Doris. The man she is to meet wants nothing more than for her to play a part. When he arrives, Stan appears harmless enough. He certainly insists she is Didi but what is all this about inflatable dolls? And just what does he really want of her? Quite suddenly she has had enough and departs. Doris enters and begins to admire the dress Tracy has thrown off. 'It suits you' says Stan. Characters: Tracy, 28, confident; Doris, 43, willing: Stan, 59, persuasive.

1A/03/006 WHAT EVERYBODY NEEDS IS .. by Chris Vervain Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for two women and one man (50 minutes)

This is a surreal comedy. Three people live in a trunk. A housewife, driven by a remorseless urge to keep everything clean, tidy and in its proper place; a girl who says she feels 'in the way' and that she only wants to be useful and an extremely erudite professor who seems driven almost entirely by a desire for sex. At its core it is a send-up of the female drive towards cleanliness and order above all things - even sex. Even the girl's 'boyfriend' turns out to be a vaccuum cleaner which the professor finds more congenial than either of the women because it doesn't answer back. This is a 'play with a difference', extreme 'fun' for both cast and audiences. Characters: Housewife, Girl, Professor.

1A/03/007 MOTHERS HAVE NINE LIVES by Joanna Norland Scripts £2 perf £12 for three young women or,alternatively,nine grown up women and three children (45 minutes)

"Being the mummy is the best part." Nine very different women grapple with what it means to be a mother. Gina (20) goes head-to-head with the social services bureaucracy, demanding a double buggy for her young daughters. Margaret (36) juggles roles as a hotshot editor and a "full time overtime" mum. Katherine will stop at nothing to secure her daughter a place in the Exceptional Students Class. These and six other women share their experiences in a series of comic and gritty monologues linked by the role-playing games of schoolgirls who vie with one another for the best part: being the Mummy, of course. (The actors playing the schoolgirls can play the mothers too or each role may be played separately.) The monologues also provide ideal audition material. The play was initially produced off Broadway, New York and has received professional and amateur productions elsewhere in the United States. The United Kingdom version has been produced in this country and this is the version which will be provided unless you specify that you want the US version. Characters: There are 12 parts which may be taken either by three young women or by three children and nine adult women with ages from 20 to 45.

1A/03/008 THE FAN by Jan Harris Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for two mature women (one a spinter, the other a glamorous has-been) and a young man with a foreign accent (30 minutes, but longer with songs)

Fran Scott escapes her hum-drum existence by living precariously through the actions of her celebrity idol Ezzlie Harlow. When Ezzlie Harlow runs into hard times Fran seizes the chance to help her by offering a room in her small terrace house. Ezzlie, forced to accept the situation she finds herself in, still plays the big star: pride and insolence are her strong suit. But slowly Ezzlie is stripped of the phoney theatrical trappings to reveal her vulnerability, while Fran finds her true talent in this reversal of fortune plot. Ezzlie uses strong language that has been toned down a little in this version and could be toned down further. A more strongly worded version is also avilable! Characters: This is essentially a two-hander (with a taxi-driver thrown in) for two mature women. Extravagant costumes (and a little black dress!) are needed. There are opportunities for songs.

1A/03/009 JUST ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS by David Elliot Brown for one woman and two men Scripts £2.00 perf £12 (45 minutes)

The play is set in a squalid bed-sit which is home to Tony and Huggins, two unemployed young men. They are holding Sandra hostage in the mistaken belief that her father is a millionaire. Outside there are explosions in the road and a fire. Sandra turns out to be a dropout like her captors and she may be responsible for the fire outside. Huggins is seriously hurt by an explosion and they realise that they must get out of the building. Sandra saves the day. This is a low life (very low) comedy in which some unlovely characters are changed for the better. Warning: There is some very strong language, which could offend. Characters: Tony (early 30s) is an aspiring rock guitarist with many prejudices and no talent. Huggins (early 30s) is Tony's rather dainty companion, who loves him dearly. Sandra (early 30s) is a feisty young woman who had a private education but is now reduced to poverty and prostitution..


Foursomes

1A/04/001 SOMETHING NASTY IN THE WOODSHED by Bruce McLaren for four women (45 minutes) Scripts £2 perf £12

Three unmarried sisters live together. One day there is a fire in their woodshed and a mysterious tramp figure is burned to death. The corpse cannot be identified. Who was he? Had he come to stir up ghosts from the past? The youngest sister hires a private detective to investigate, but what secrets might she reveal? The dominant Gertrude does her best to hamper the enquiries but in the end the strange truth comes out. Characters: Gertrude, 73, strong-willed; Daisy, 71, dominated by Gertrude; Abbie, 63, more independent; Connie, mid 30's, hard bitten.

1A/04/002 GAME, SET AND MATCH by Peter McKelvey Scripts £1.50 perf £8 for two men and two women (20 minutes)

Stephanie is getting ready for an interview. The Board have asked her to set up the whole thing and she has clearly planned some surprises, involving various party amusements.When they come in, Stephanie, dressed in tights and top hat, makes them do silly things, all at the crack of her whip.At the end she orders them to leave the room, convinced she's blown the whole thing. Martin comes back, clearly over-awed by her dominant demonstration, to tell her she's got the job. Characters: Stephanie, 30's,surprisingly authoritative; Martin, 40's; impressed; Wendy, 30's, automaton; Richard, 30's, also an automaton.

1A/04/003 IN A SMALL HOTEL by Peter McKelvey Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for one man and three women (25 minutes)

Malc and Barbara are working in menial jobs in a hotel and desperately dreaming up schemes to make money. They have hit upon an unlikely confidence trick, where Malc will pose as a kind of guru to extract donations from the gullible. Their first visitor, Mrs Sandersgate, falls quickly under Malc's spell and, quite absurdly soon, is agreeing to write him a substantial cheque, but a Mrs Collins calls to collect Mrs Sandersgate, a patient at her mental home, and frightens Malc into giving her a donation to her charity. ; Characters: Malc, 30's, persuasive; Barbara, 20's, naive Mrs Sandersgate, 60's,

1A/04/004 GLIMPSED IN PASSING by Peter McKelvey Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for four women (30 minutes)

Young Elizabeth is a bit drunk when she catches the last tube to . wherever it's going. There are only two other people on the train, both women, and, strangely, they both have the same first name as her. Whilst they are from three generations, they are remarkably similar. This train is no ordinary London Transport service. The ticket collector seems also to be both driver and steward. This turns out to be not the journey they had set out upon but an altogether more significant event in three lives -or is it really just one? Characters: Charity, a cheery Jamaican; Mrs Hinklebotham, elderly; Bess, early middle age; Elizabeth, a teenager.

1A/04/005 DIFFERENT WORLDS by Derek Parkes Scripts £2.00 perf £12 for four women (40 minutes)

Two sisters are living together in their old age.Sarah's daughter and grand-daughter, Paula and Nancy, are paying them a visit. Paula's husband is in prison on a trivial matter of principle and Nancy thinks her husband is being unfaithful. Each receives help and comfort from Florrie who, to encourage Nancy, reveals a long-kept secret about herself and her sister's late husband. However, at the very end, when they are alone again, Sarah springs quite a surprise on her condescending sister. Characters: Paula, 50, on edge; Nancy, 28, modern; Sarah, 75, finicky; Florrie, 78, breezy, cockney accent.

1A/04/006 FAT FRED by Charles Ford Scripts £2.00 perf £12 for two men and two women (45 minutes)

'Fat Fred' is dead. A group of people who appear to have nothing in common except their willingness to quote and discuss poetry. have arrived for the funeral. Two are interested in serious modern works, the other two think poetry that doesn't rhyme is rubbish. Three of them also seem to detest someone - who may well have been 'Fat Fred'. Not surprisingly, one of the innocent seeming ladies turns out to be a police woman on the trail of 'Fat Fred's' murderer. At the end we think she must be on to the truth - but it is not as simple as that. Characters: Polly, middle-aged, gossipy; Amy, refined; Crane, well-spoken, aloof; Dick, West country accent.

1A/04/007 A PEBBLE'S RATTLE by Jane Beeson Scripts £3.00 perf £24 for three women and one man (playing a main character plus three other small ones) (70 minutes)

Min, after reading her poem to an audience, invites discussion. Julia, Anna and Gabe, respond but the discussion gets nowhere and Gabe leaves. Min lives alone in their farmhouse most of the time. Simon is away a lot and their daughter is living in France. Julia, a very lively person who can make anything that happens entertaining, has recently come to stay but is having an affair with a married man and goes out a lot. Min is clearly depressed and not able to cope on her own.She meets Gabe again by accident They talk and she invites him back to the house where Julia is angry because they were going to have spent the evening with 'just us two' but her lover phones and insists she goes to meet him. This leaves Min and Gabe alone together and the inevitable happens but Min insists he goes on his way next morning. After Gabe has finally gone, Julia comes back saying it's all over, 'Now there'll be just the two of us'. Characters: Min, 40's, quiet, reserved; Julia, 40's, ebullient, amusing; Anna, 30's, intense; Gabe, 30's, American, brash.

1A/04/008 THE BOX-LOW FILE by By Charles Ford £2.00 perf £12 for two men and two women (40 minutes)

Inept Gordon and his long suffering hapless spouse Lottie, both in their mid-fifties are, not for the first time, at rock-bottom, both barely managing tosurvive each financial crisis which frequently appear to crop up with alarming regularity at their drab, sorely neglected, long rented Victorian terraced abode, now favourably located in a formerly deprived run-down inner city area but of late, although of little consequence to the present occupants, enjoying an outrageously inflated revival. Hard up but unhappy, ill-mannered scruffy unemployed Gordon, who has somehow managed to secure a part-time school crossing job, appears to sit around most of the time waiting for something to turn up. Lottie, who has little to look forward to but is more all about than her idle partner and prepared to take a chance on anything that looks promising, has managed to drag Gordon along to Sundance Villas, con merchant retirement home specialists, in the hope of picking up a free holiday offer by playing them at their own game. Characters: Gordon, mid 50's, scruffy; Lottie, mid 50's, more lively; Kitty, young, well spoken; Dick, young, also well spoken.


5 Characters

1A/05/001 THREE TRYING GRAND-DAUGHTERS by Bruce McLaren for five women (60 minutes) Scripts £2.50 perf £18

Isabelle, an 85 year old woman, has lived on her own ever since her husband died during the war. Her three grand-daughters are, suspiciously, all coming to visit her the same weekend. Their own parents died years ago in an inexplicable motoring accident leaving Isabelle to bring up the girls. These three are now her only direct relatives. Each, for different reasons, is in need of cash and 'Gran' continues 'obstinately' to live in that huge house entirely on her own, except for Humphries, a cheerful 70 year old cockney who has been with her since the year dot having 'lorst 'er old man on the last day o' that there war' as she keeps reminding everyone.Finally we discover that 'Gran' has no money at all and is powerless to help any of them. She has been kept going solely because Humphries won a lot of money a long time ago. Characters: Isabelle, 80, cantankerous; Humphries, 70, cheerful cockney; Jennifer, mid 30's, conceited; Bella, 30, timid; Sally, 21, bit old-fashioned.

1A/05/002 WITNESS FOR THE DEFENCE by Don West Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for two women and three men (50 minutes)

Mark has been accused of murdering his wife. In court his defence lawyer relies upon the evidence of Susan, personal secretary to Mark's boss, as a character witness and upon the evidence of Mark's neighbour, Jonathan, to prove that Mark was away when the murder took place. But there is a lot more to Jonathan than appears at first. He knows court procedure inside out and we gradually begin to realise that is using his legal knowledge to manipulate the court and clearly knows a lot more about the murder than he has reported, as Mark also gradually begins to learn. By the end we discover that neither Mark, his wife nor the secretary, Susan, are quite what they seem. Characters: Defence Counsel, female, mid 30's, confident; Susan, mid 20's, attractive and confident; Judge, 50's, firm; Jonathan, late 40's, devious; Mark, 30ish, the key character; Two off stage voices.

1A/05/003 THE STING IN THE TAIL by Bruce McLaren Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for three women and two men (60 minutes)

Jim and Kath are discussing the coming weekend in the kitchen. He seems to be behaving a bit strangely. Jim's younger brother, Bill, is coming down for a few days and Kath's sister, Cynthia, phones and invites herself also.Jim is approaching his fortieth birthday. He had been having an affair with a younger woman but she died, six months ago in a car accident while coming to meet him. He never meant it to happen, he loves Kath -it was 'just one of those things'. He has got over it, the shock, the grief and the guilt. A letter arrives while Jim is out playing golf. Kath opens it and finds from someone called 'Dawn' and says 'I've left everything to you. Cynthia gest Jim alone and asks who this Dawn was. He blusters but eventually confides in her, asking what on earth he can do. 'Kath will never believe I want her more than all this money.' The audience is left till the very end before they discover which way Kath will jump when she finds out about the affair and just how much money is actually involved. Characters: Jim, 40, outward going; Kath, late 30's, jolly; Cynthia, 30ish, sexy; Bill, 30ish, shy; Marion, 30ish, confident.


6 Characters

1A/06/001 INSIDE STORY by Derek Parkes Scripts £1.75 perf £10 for six women (30 minutes)

Action takes place in the recreation room of a women's prison. Five inmates are seemingly getting on together, teasing and ragging each other. Into their midst comes another girl, Lucy, who says when asked she's in 'for life'. She is actually a prison officer. But there's something strange about Lucy, when teased too much she goes off and the teaser is told it is a year today since her husband and two children were killed in a car accident. She had been the driver. So who is the real prisoner? Characters: Peggy, 45, jolly; Ada, 72, sprightly; Susie, 30, attractive and nicely spoken; Netta, 50, heavily built, Scots accent; Joan, 25, reserved, finding her feet; Lucy, 30, firm with an underlying sadness.


6 Characters

1A/06/003 SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME by John Grange and Peter Vincent Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for six women (50 minutes)

Julie and her daughter, Emma, are about to go on holiday. A young travel agent, Denise, has arranged to occupy the house while they are away. But Denise is not what she seems. She is a criminal and there are dangers. Luckily for Julie and Emma there are two ghosts in the house, Julie's mother and grandmother. This means we have characters from four different generations - with four different dress fashions. The ghosts know there is a perilous situation but how can they warn the living? They always know what's going on but cannot make contact. They have to call upon their ghostly social worker, Mrs Crabtree, to help. There is bad news for the two ghosts. Only by making considerable sacrifice can they save the living. But there is a reward. The younger ghosts, Veronica, does begin to make contact of some kind with her beloved daughter. This is a loving and humorous story involving six women. Wouldn't we all like someone so caring to watch over us? Characters: Celia, 63, 30's clothes; Veronica, 37, Dior style; Mrs Crabtree; middle aged; Julie, 45; Emma, 20; Mrs Gibbins, cleaning lady, annoying laugh; Denise, young.


6 Characters

1A/06/004 BURLESQUE by Jan Harris Scripts £2 perf £12 for three men, two older women and a young girl (40 minutes)

Glen, a little over the hill to be impersonating Cleopatra, makes a meagre living in the seedy clubs of Soho. His life is thrown into turmoil when he takes pity on Hope a homeless teenager who beds down in the Naughty Boy Club's doorway. The story involves Glen (and his asp) and young Hope (a homeless runaway, could be from an ethnic minority group), also the club owner and club manager, neither of them very pleasant. It is a dark comedy in which Hope seems to bring her reluctant host Glen nothing but misfortune; but their unusual backgrounds, as recounted in monologues by their respective mothers, combine to provide a life line and a well deserved way out of their troubles. Characters: Glen a 40 something artistic female impersonator with an asp, Hope a young homeless runaway with ambitions, the seedy old club manager looking for love in all the wrong places, the owner of the club (50s), Petula (Hope's 30 year old mother with a dark secret) and Dixie, Glen's mother, an ex famous Striptease artiste, still living in the past.

6 Characters

1A/06/005 GAIETY GIRLS by Katy Darby Scripts £2.50 perf £18 for two men, one older woman and three younger (60 minutes)

Business is bad at the Blue Lagoon (a failing "house of ill repute" in King's Cross). What will the ladies of the night do to make sure they can keep their jobs and their home? The owner remembers wistfully the opulence enjoyed by her mother, when she was a Gaiety Girl. The owner's daughter is just back from business school but her ideas don't seem to be working fast enough. All seems hopeless until Gary, the prodigal son, comes home with a money-making scheme that could save the place from closure. Only problem is, the only person he really intends to benefit is himself. Characters: Maddie the owner (60s),Gary and Sarah her children (30s), Tom the Doorman (60s) and two ladies of the night: Kara who is in her 30s, Australian and streetwise and Nicki who is a 20 year old newcomer to London, sweet but not very bright.

6 Characters

1A/06/006 THORN'S HAMMER by David Elliot Brown for two men, three women and an animated TV set, Scripts £3.00 perf £24 (70 minutes)

Philip Thorn is spending a weekend in a bed-sitting room in a boarding house in Edinburgh where building work is in progress. He is away from his girlfriend, Claudia, in Germany and wants to see his daughter, Chloe, but is afraid to contact her mother, Morag. Thorn is an alcoholic and is recovering from a bad night. He feels sorry for himself, is disturbed by the builder's hammering and has nothing to comfort him but Television and more alcohol. He is haunted by visions from the past, including the shooting of his old friend Freddie and has fears for the future, concerning Chloe, Morag and Claudia. He is in an abject state. Even the TV set starts picking on him. Eventually Morag comes to see him and gives him good advice and an explanation of how and why Freddie died. At last Thorn can relax and he falls into a sound sleep. Warning: the language is uninhibited and very strong,probably too strong for many theatre-goers. Characters: Philip Thorn (30s) a failed actor, now a pitiful alcoholic Freddie (30s), his old friend, who had more success as an actor and in life generally, but who died some time ago in mysterious circumstances. His ghost comes to remind Thorn of old times. Morag (40) is Thorn's first love. They were happy when they married and their only child, Chloe, was born. But then Thorn took to the bottle and so she left him and took Chloe with her. Telly: the TV set comes to life and argues with Thorn; it also moves about the room. Its age and sex are not important. The Girl in the Off Licence (20s) has a small part. The Old Lady in the off licence (70s)has a small part which could perhaps be played by Morag. There are other small parts (the Centurion, the Giant Bottle of Vodka and the landlady's voice offstage) which can be played by members of the cast.