Andy Anderson's Tall Tales

The Carpenter's Temple

At last, a story about an engineer which does more than take the mickey. I've heard this in various versions from China, Japan and Thailand, to name but three. This is the way I currently tell it, a Chinese setting inspired by BBC Television's marvellous schools series "Maths Challenge". I think there may be a book with it in as well, which'd be worth tracking down.

Anyway, in a village way up in the hills in Sichuan province, there once lived an old carpenter, Xiang. He was famed far and wide for his workmanship, so that when the old village elder died, and left money for a new temple to be built, Xiang was the obvious choice. It was late spring, and it seemed like a good idea to have the new temple ready for the festival of the Hungry Ghost, four or five moons away. Now Xinag laboured hard and long over the plans, for he knew of old that without proper planning nothing is ever accomplished.

But eventually, the plans were finished, and Xiang took them to the elders for approval. Well, of course, each of the elders wanted some change or other, to the detailing on the ends of the beams, to the way the roof tiles overlapped at the ridge, to the joints in the pillars and so on and so forth, but eventually there was agreement and a week or so later, Xiang had finished the changes and was ready to get the materials and the labourers togther. By now, there were only two moons to the festival, but Xiang knew that careful planning pays off. So, he carefully estimated the amount of timber which would be required, and sent waggons out to get the finest timber, just cured to the right degree, for without proper materials, nothing is ever accomplished. And he estimated the number of roof tiles, and set the potters to making them, all glazed exactly as he wished, for attention to detail is the way of such things and if the detail is right the rest will follow. And he selected the finest marble for the base, and set the masons to building it just so.

And when the timber arrived, Xiang himself set to work. He built each of the pillars as a separate piece, fashioned from hundreds of separate pieces of wood, and set each one upright in the foundations. Then he built the roof. Now there were only two weeks to go, but Xiang wasn't worried, because he knew that the tiles wouldn't be ready for a few days yet, so there was no point in rushing. The roof was made of hundreds of beams, all interlocking with pegs driven and edged just so, and with battens to hold the tiles. And because of the way the tile interlocked at the ridge, the way the elders wanted it, he built the roof on the ground, for it to be lifted into place later. And the potters delivered the tiles with two days to spare, and they set all the tiles in place, and the day before the festival, they lfted the roof onto the pillars. Or at least, they would have done, but it was too heavy to be lifted. And if they took the tiles off, they'd never get them interlocked at the ridge the way the plans showed. It looked as if there'd be no temple for the Hungry Ghost festival this year. No one could set the roof in place just so, except, he thought bitterly, perhaps Lu Ban, the God of Carpenters.

In despair, Xiang went home to his wife, who had hardly seen him for the last few months. And she comforted him, and took special care preparing the rice and vegetables for the evening meal. And, what do you know, but just as they sat down, there was a knock at the door. Well, Xiang's wife was very upset, because she'd been looking forward to a quiet meal with her husband, temple or no temple. But there it was, there was no help for it. She opened the door, and there was a stranger, a passing traveller, carrying carpenters' tools just like Xiang's. So, as was the custom, she invited him in to share the meal. She went into the kitchen to get another bowl and chopsticks, whilst the traveller said that the least he could do to make up for this imposition was to buy some good wine, so he gave Xiang a silver coin and sent him to buy some wine.

When Xiang returned, his wife was in tears. The stranger was gone and in the middle of the table was a mess. All the rice was tipped out into a sloping mound, with the chopsticks buried uprght in it, a portent of death, and the vegetables had all been piled on top. Xiang looked for a moment, and then he smiled. And then he hugged his wife and kissed the tears away, and then he laughed and whooped for joy. He cleared up all the mess, and set the wine in the corner of the little kitchen. "Come", he said, bring the lantern and come with me while I fetch everyone. And you will see what has happened." He had to keep the final surprise.

Well Xiang and his wife went through the village, and roused everyone, with lanterns and baskets and spades and ropes. And Xiang had them dig up the earth and pile it onto the foundations of the temple, unitl the pillars were completely buried. Then, they dug more earth and built a ramp, from where the roof was, to the top of the pillars. By now the moon was high in the sky. And they took ropes and dragged the roof up the slope, until it slotted neatly into place on the pillars. Then, they started to dig the earth out from under it. Xiang worked with them for a while, but one of the elders pointed at his wife. "She is very tired. Go home with her and sleep, we can do the rest." So, by the light of the moon and the lantern, they made their way home. And then Xiang remembered the wine that the stranger had paid for. "We must drink to the traveller" he said. So, they did. And neither of them had eaten, so perhaps the wine went to their heads, or perhaps that night was another gift from Lu Ban. "How strange," Xiang's wife said dreamily as finally, much later, they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, "All I could see was a pile of rice".