Stane Street Morris perform a play based on the Brandon Guizers' play. It's notable for the brevity of its cure scene:

King George
    What can you cure?
Doctor Brown
    Dead men alive.
    I have a little bottle in my inside pocket,
    Which goes tick-tock,
    Rise up, dead Jock!
[The Knight gets up]

The line has always stuck in my head, so it was an obvious catch line for this page. I have a predeliction for "micro" performances, so the Brandon play is one of my favourites, and Stane Street's interpretation is particulrly good.

Red Stags were fortunate enough to be invited to Stane Street's performance at the Amberley Chalk Pits museum's Santa Fun Day 2001.

The day was sold out well in advance and I suspect that a fair few families who hadn't booked in advance were disappointed. One of the museum volunteers said "we've been building it up over the past few years and this year we seem to have overdone it."

It was very cold, but this didn't dampen the enthusiasm of the youngsters. The high point for most of them was probably the ride on the narrow gauge railway up to Santa's Grotto, but they enjoyed the play as well. The performers made use of the thoughtfully provided brazier and readily available mulled wine to keep warm.

The first performance was by the entrance. Since Monty Python and Star Trek are now both a firm part of the contemporary English Tradition, the script was entirely traditional. Ze dastardly Frenchman unblocked his nose in the general direction of King George and the ensuing fight scene was one of the best choreographed I've seen for ages, although I don't think I'd like to try it indoors.

There were two completely traditional things about the ensuing death. Firstly, the padded and insulated groundsheet he'd been promised had been accidentally "forgotten" and emerged just after he'd had to fall onto the icy cold ground. The second, and I 've been there and done that, was tat the contents of the bottle were certainly not single malt. He wasn't saying, but in my time I think the worst I've had was a mixture of limejuice, brine and vinegar. He bore it well.

We moved up to the station where a queue was waiting for the train to see Santa, and performed again. It was getting even colder, but at leastthe French Knight got single malt this time. Since it was a family show, ribaldry was limited to an extremely explicit hand movement to accompany the phrase "Dead Men Alive". The performance was once again very well received. Once the majority of the audience had left for the grotto, we rode on an open top bus towards the railway museum, to dance again. Of course, the bus was even colder, were that possible, but fun anyway.

Unexpectedly, we got a ride on the train back to the bottom station. Thanks, folks. Riding through the woods I forgot the cold, and when we got back the brazier was still going. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the museum and I vowed to return in the spring when the railway museum shed will be open. We did one more dance set, and then retreated to the Bridge for a drink by their roaring fire, to fortify us for the ride home. Please can we come next year?

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copyright © Andy Anderson, 2001