Canadian Defence Department Buzz Phrase Generator
One of the many bits of paper stuck to AP's walls was the official Canadian Defence Department Buzz Phrase Generator. This was a table of instant management credibility (credited, obv, to the Canadian Defence Department) made famous by witty inclusion in Sir Ernest Gowers' pioneering 40s you're-all-idiots-so-shut- up-and-listen-to-me handbook for deprogramming authors of incomprehensible government reports,* the Plain Words series.
The table is dead easy to use...
| COLUMN A | COLUMN B | COLUMN C |
| integrated | management | options |
| overall | organisational | flexibility |
| systematised | monitored | capability |
| parallel | reciprocal | mobility |
| functional | digital | programming |
| responsive | logistical | concept |
| optimal | transitional | time-phase |
| synchronised | incremental | projection |
| compatible | third generation | hardware |
| balanced | policy | contingency |
... but we almost certainly didn't, because what REALLY beckoned our lamps with a saucy crook was the accompanying description of the generator as providing
"That proper ring of decisive, progressive, knowledgeable authority"
which we lobbed into the mag at every available opportunity for the REST OF TIME, in hapless variations (eg, "That decisive ring of proper, knowledgeable authority") because the original had fallen off behind a desk.