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Highlights a particularly bad thing.
Example: "You have to use both keyboard and joystick. This is a Bad Thing."
Secret origin: Comes from (or was at least popularised by) the book 1066 And All That. Introduced by Matt Bielby. Revived by Cam.
Note 1: The capitals are important. Otherwise it is merely ordinarily bad.
Note 2: See also Good Thing.
X! It's back (back! Back!)
Indicating something has returned.
Example: "Plus! Gloom 2! It's back (back! Back!)"
Secret origin: Traditional, dating from YS. Possibly coined by Matt Bielby.
Note: Also "X is back (back! Back!)"
(Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)
An awkward question is avoided; a secret is withheld.
Example: "It's perfectly simple why the two pages of Total appeared in AP41. It's because (Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)"
Secret origin: Uncertain. Appears to have been coined either by Jonathan Davies or Stuart Campbell. Wait a moment, this just in - the inventor is (Bang!) Oh no! (Dies.)
Note: The complete bracket of "(Dies.)" trumps any earlier punctuation of the sentence. If it's not "(Dies.)" then trumpery moonshine must be involved.
Essentially; in short.
Example: "It's a platform game, basically."
Secret origin: Traditional.
First used: AP Zero.
Note: A vocabulary atom.
Relating to tedious game lore.
Example: "Dear AP, tell me how to 'be' Goro."
Secret origin: Coined in sister magazine Gamesmaster by Andy Lowe.
Note: Really sound that bilabial consonant.
Best X ever in the history of all things
See The best X ever in the history of all things.
Expressing pleasure in accuracy or success.
Example: "The missing page. Bingo!"
Secret origin: From the announcer in the Smash TV coin-op. Taken for his own by Dave Green.
Note: Must follow the original explosive pronunciation: as if you are introducing that member of The Banana Splits.
Bludgeoning with a rowing oar
Example: "He introduces the author of the save game routine. I bludgeon him with a rowing oar."
Secret origin: A set-piece of Man's Best Friend, the episode of Ren and Stimpy considered too unpleasant to broadcast. Commandeered for AP by J Nash.
Note: "You useless cretinous morons" with attitude.
X bugs my knackers
Focusing attention on something annoying.
Example: "And I'll tell you what really bugs my knackers - tiny wires."
Secret origin: Coined by Stuart Campbell.
Ends a tangential remark without explanation. Always used as a separate paragraph.
Example: "ROGER MOORE (off): Another miraculous escape! Bast!"
Secret origin: Traditional. First used in AP by Stuart Campbell. Revived by Jonathan Davies. Adopted by J Nash to introduce relevant part of review.
But not as X as something I've just thought of
Example: "That's really funny! But not as funny as something I've just thought of."
Secret origin: Coined by Josse Bilson of Sega Zone.
But that's another unfunny in-joke
Ironically, an in-joke.
Example: "Appallingly, the game comes on eleven million disks. Actually, it comes on five, but that's another unfunny in-joke."
Secret origin: Evolved from "But that's another story" via AP's gene pool.