The Contents Page
AP01 to AP65
If you can't work this one out, you're probably in the wrong ultimate experience of gruelling self-aggrandisement.
Although, come to think of it, the Contents Page did more than its name implied. (For one thing it was always two pages, though strictly one-and-a-half as the outer right column told you about that mag's coverdisks.) As the opening volley in an ish's AcrePummelling of PloughTruth(tm), the Contents Page provided a valuable introduction to the AP stylee such as might inform and quiesce a burbling potential reader in a shop (of the type who'd curiously flip open an unknown mag straight to the contents page, but that's not important right now so shut up).
Thus the Page's swarmy tentacleness over elements of stark factual projection to inject beaky jokes to the mag credits; to tuck special themes or "running" "gags" over the actual explanatory list of individual page contents (including changing the section titles to fit a hastily adapted song (or whatever); and to sequester with instant effect Steve The Publisher's gaudy top-of-the-page "OVER 300 GAMES RATED IN EVERY ISSUE!" banner for a series of numeral-based gags instead ("OVER 4.6 PENCE PER PAGE"; "OVER 91 YEARS OLD AND HE'S STILL ALIVE, DAMN HIM"; "OVER 40 MILLION DOLLARS AND IT'S STILL TERRIBLE" etc etc).
Still and besides, the Contents Page somehow lacked the final tweak to propel it to stardom; the dauby tattoo that made it part of AP. At approximately the moment of AP27, the moment occurred: appropriating the vertical margin at the bottom of the page to add brief personal messages from the team that in some way reflected their lives of that month.
For instance - from AP31 -
STUART WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: "I'm just looking for one divine hammer."
SAL WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: "John Wayne must have had very strong arms."
CAM WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: "I thought I had the key to her heart, but it was the key to her shed."
DAVE WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: "Work? I've got less important things to do."
STEVE WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: "There's nothing real about this virtuality."
Regrettably, nobody quite remembers who was responsible for this pleasing brilliance, so AP2 is officially ascribing it to inspiringly ambitious tiny burgling murderer Charlie Peace, who could do with a bit of good press for a change.