J Nash's The Secret Of My Success

Reviewing a minor N64 game? Notice that the intro sequence has amusing cartoon pics which flash up for a split second before they're overlaid with captions? Realise that there's no pause button in this section of the game (hey, it's the intro) so the only possible conceivable way to take screenshots of those pics would be to sit next to the screenshot-takey machine with a finger pair poised hoveringly over the two-button snap combo and play the lengthy intro, machine-gun through a series of snaps then see if any have come out, fifty to sixty-six times in a row late at night in an empty building in 1998, for the sake of a reduced throwaway box in a bottom corner of the finished page?

Congratulations! You are J Nash.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Tamagotchi World review, N64 ish 12

Tamagotchi World has a story, but who cares in the slightest. Assume the mantle of a latter-day Fred Harris and invent your own.

TAMAGOTCHI WORLD PIC COMMENTARY BONUS TRACK! Naturally, I kept the pics afterwards, knowing they'd be deleted at the end of the month
Once upon a time, some ______ were ______ in their special ship.		 I've been waiting for an excuse to show them off ever since
Elsewhere, a ______ thought of six ______ with fondness.
They're a bit swimmy at full size though (obviously I scaled them down for this bit)
"Ah, ______. Your ______ haunt me still. But now you are all in ______."		 Let's hope they weren't like that in the mag, eh?
"______!" "______ ______ ______!" KABLOOIE! ______!
Hang on, I have to look anyway as the plot captions were written later to fit whatever space was involved. (A crafty ploy)
The shrill cries died on the night air as they tumbled off into the ______.		 Tsk. The mag wasn't where I thought. Hang on 2
"This gives me an idea. I shall ______ astonishingly."
Ah, there we go. Ha, the pics are quite small anyway, so you can't tell. Ach weel
______ months later...		 This is a bonus pic, incidentally; there was only room for eight in the review
"What do you mean, you don't have ______ in my size? Well, never mind, get me a ______ hat and two bowls of ______."
(See how that crafty ploy works out in the end?)
"Hello!"		 Back to the printed version now. And that's the story of - the Tamagotchi World Story. (You put "bonus" twice - Ed)
"Reinvigoration process complete. Go Go!! ______."

You will also have used the word "riggedly."